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Minutes of the
Demosthenian Literary Society
May 30, 1996
Hah-Hah-Hah! (evil
laugh, rubbing hands like Uriah Heep) They finally let me be
secretary! Now I'll put everyone in their place by cutting them
down with my razor-sharp wit. Wait a minute! I'm Mr. Cardboard; my
hard tack personality is too moldy for razor-sharp wit. Maybe I'll
hypnotize everyone with my special powers as a parliamentarian.
Then I can bump off Carl and take over the Society from the innocent
appointment of the Adlatus! They would never suspect! Or, I could
act like I really like Bethany and then charm her into letting me be
President! Better yet, I could make my greatest confession: that I
wrote Rachel's vice presidency speech. Then the bench will be mine,
all mine!
The meeting began
at 7:27 p.m. Roll was called and the minutes were read and approved
after being entirely rewritten by additions and corrections, due to
the fact that they were originally written by everyone in the
Society except the Secretary. We then accepted a new member, Mr.
Kevin Garrison, into the Society after a rousing petitioning speech
about the evils of UGA Parking Services (isn't that an oxymoron?).
Committee Reports were up next and there was a barrage of them, most
notable of which was Ms. Sullivan's announcement that she had
finally gotten all the Society's financial records together in a
number of nicely bound volumes. The Society moved into New
Business, bypassing Old Business to accept proxy votes. Then --dah
dah dah!-- we finally got to the big stuff: elections for Fall
Quarter. To the victors go the spoils:
President -- Bethany Polentz
Vice President -- Rachel Ramirez
Chief Justice -- Andrew Stuart
Associate Justices -- Derek Bowman, Cheong
Choi
Secretary -- Ryan Van Meter
Treasurer -- Jason Hortman
Historian -- Nancee Tomlinson
Librarian -- Robby Smith
Custodian -- Becky Richie
Sergeant-At-Arms -- Brian Sirak
At 12:40, we
decided that we had outlasted the society across the way and we
adjourned to Peppino's, subject to Mr. Van Meter's critic's report
which was essentially nonexistent.
I have a whole
quarter to implement my plan of takeover. The bench must be mine,
and I'll stop at nothing, not even being custodian, to get
it!
Respectfully
submitted,
Ryan J. Van Meter,
reading Secretary
Leslie
Spornberger, authoring Secretary |
University of Georgia 