Minutes of the DLS: September 9, 1999

"Slone and His Band of Merry Men"

Stretching his arms and yawning to meet a new day, Mr. Slone, prince of thieves, was getting dressed. "Ooh, I love the rub of tights in the morning, a lacey garter belt, and a fresh green tunic too." Around camp, the men of the merry band were also rising to greet the day. There was Mr. Alsen, Mr. Cohoon, Mr. Goodhew (to provide the sexy British accent), and of course Little Rivner, Mr. Slone’s sidekick and right-hand man (in more ways than one).

"Wakeup good fellows, it’s a lovely day, and perfect for prancing in the forest. Come along… let’s prance." They frolicked away the merry morning; though the prancing made them awfully hungry. Adjusting his hem, Mr. Slone said, "Let’s go to town and beg food from Crouse, the overlord of food services."

It turned out that Crouse was not a benevolent overlord but a grouchy, miserly cafeteria worker, and thus Slone and his men promptly stole the food supply they needed. Crouse of food services whined, shouted but was ignored, and the band strolled the town stuffing their faces. Little Rivner particularly enjoyed the gargantuan leg of mutton he so voraciously attacked, pausing only to cry, "Ale! We need ale!" Hoping to get some play from Little Rivner, Slone led them into Mama Peppino’s Tavern, a place of cheap ale, loose wenches, and general ill repute.

The meeting was called to order at 7:28 p.m. The society recognized 7 first time guests and 9 second and third time guests.     Mr. Morgan was appointed critic.

During petitions for membership, Ms. Rehn rose and explained to the society how the fragmentation of society lies at the root of other societal problems. To solve the problem of fragmentation individuals must get involved and work together to take action.

Mr. Alsen cited his personal experience of home invasion and reflected that the trauma of a break-in is not the monetary value of the possessions taken but the sense of security that is stolen. Both were accepted into membership.

In committee reports, Ms. Benewitz rose on behalf of the finance committee and her report was accepted.

The society then moved through old and into new business. Mr. Morgan took the floor, discussing the disease of apathy in our society and noting that people who have been without the right to vote have worked harder to make their collective voices heard. He presented,

Be it resolved: Universal suffrage is detrimental to a democratic society.

Respectfully submitted,

Baxter Morgan

Mr. Pyrdum used the setting of Restoration England to illustrate a time when women were incredibly influential though they were without the right to vote. Since our political identity is now wrapped up in our right to vote, we think we are affecting things when we are not.

Mr. Goodhew disagreed with the resolution. Even though he is English and did not plan on voting, he said that while one vote is not much, millions of votes cause decisions to be made, and it is better that not each individual has power.

Mr. Rivner urged the society to ignore those who say a vote is worthless. Voting brings power to the community, and special interests are powerful because they represent blocs of voters.

Ms. Johnson stated that our country’s political apathy comes from those who will not rise up and claim their identity as Americans, it does not come from having the right to vote.

Mr. Roca, guest, pointed out that low voter turnout is not itself a problem, since people who are not familiar with the candidates and issues should not vote.

Mr. Confer, guest, wanted to bring the debate back to a focus on the daily lives of people. He stated that those who wish to take power over you will find a way.

Ms. Wilson asked from whom would we take away the vote? She added that political apathy does not come from voting, but from other causes in our society.

Ms. Frawley stated that universal suffrage is the ultimate goal of a democratic society; to say that it is a detriment is crazy, since suffrage was the aim of many of those groups so active before the vote.

Mr. Crouse told the society a story about Robert Toombs to explain the electrical problem. He then moved on to describe abuses such as in South Africa, when only one segment of the population could vote.

Ms. Rehn thought that in theory the resolution was good as a scare tactic. However, there would be no logistical way of restructuring voting.

Ms. Kravig thought that the examples given by previous speakers were not accurate for examining today’s apathy. She offered other rights such as gun ownership that are not universally exercised.

The question was called, failing 2 to 10 among the guests, and failing Morgan to 15 in the membership.

Mr. Rivner described the horrible transgressions and subsequent forgiveness given to political leaders in the past; and supported those who would not forgive people for their heinous acts. He presented,

Be It Resolved: Never forgive, never forget, but more importantly, never forgive.

Respectfully submitted,

Asher Louis Rivner

Ms. Johnson rose to explain that the point of forgiveness is for the forgiver to let go and move on. Why go through life holding on to your hatred and misery?

Mr. Cohoon reflected that while forgiveness is incredibly difficult, it prevents us from being shackled to hate. We should not forget, but forgive and go on.

Mr. Callahan questioned what each of us meant by forgiveness. There comes a point for every person at which they are unable to forgive, only God may.

Ms. Wilson described her personal experience of being consumed by the anger and pain she carried from events in her family. Forgiveness is not absolving the transgressor of sin, but absolving yourself from pain.

Ms. Tsoi, guest, stated that forgiveness is taking positive action to deal with the wrong; it is rising above the situation and progressing.

Mr. Miller told the society a story of a wrongly accused man tempted to revenge, who ultimately chose not to go through with it.

Ms. Wood drew the society’s attention to the language of the resolution. The word "never" invalidated the resolution.

Mr. Crouse told of his personal problem in dealing with others who had treated him unkindly. He said that holding onto hurt breeds other problems.

Mr. Morgan reflected on the folly of harboring pain and hatred. One should not forget, but forgiveness is a virtue.

The question was called, failing 0 to 8 among the guests, and 6 to 11 among members.

Mr. Pyrdum stated that myths and legends shape our society. Producing a deluge of Star Wars action figures, he wished the progressing quality of toys had been shared by Lucas’s movies. It was not. He presented,

Be it resolved: The magic is gone. Lucas has lost the gift. The dark side has triumphed.

Respectfully,

Carl S Pyrdum III

Mr. Rivner said that not only has Lucas lost the gift, but also the entire magic of movies is gone. The cinema is no longer a place to bring artistic visions.

Ms. Mikel described her sci-fi loving mother’s penchant for tacky paraphernalia. Though she tried, Ms. Mikel could not make herself like Episode I.

Ms. Tsoi, guest, pointed out that we are all now much older and less easily impressed than when we first viewed the original movies, this is cause for our disappointment.

Ms. Kravig asked exactly what magic was gone. The magic of spectacular effects is still there, but Lucas has lost the gift to tell a great story.

Mr. Alsen had three words to share on the issue: "Jar Jar Binks."

Mr. Roca, guest, conceded that the Phantom Menace was a bad movie, but it is only one movie of the new trilogy.

Mr. Callahan said that the original Star Wars trilogy was some of the best story telling he has ever seen, and we must save ourselves from the evil of the new movies.

Mr. Cohoon thought Episode I was the best movie of the year. If you did not like the movie, you should examine your own flawed soul.

Mr. Morgan described the first trilogy as an epic, whose characters serve as classical archetypes. Every society needs a binding myth; the American epic is Star Wars.

Mr. Crouse agreed that the new movie could have been better, but it is only the first. He had had the same reaction to the first Star Wars movie, and two amazing movies followed it.

The question was called, passing 5 to 3 among the guests and 8 to 7 among the membership.

The society moved back into petitions for membership. Mr. Nicholson took the floor and stated that despite doubters and detractors, the UGA Bulldogs will win the National Championship. He was accepted into membership.

The society adjourned at 11:25pm, subject to Mr. Morgan’s critic’s report.

In a dizzied state of disarray, Slone stumbled back into the forest camp at dusk. He couldn’t quite remember where the afternoon had gone, in a haze of ale barrels and debauchery, but he hoped his fellows had already found their way home. At any rate, it was now time for the evening forest prancing and frolicking, and so he went about knocking on huts to gather the troops.

"Hello, Mr. Alsen, time for prancing, hello…" Muffled groans and talk paused while Alsen poked his head out of the door, "I’m skipping the prancing tonight Slone, I picked up a tavern wench named Ms. Wilson – she dug the beard." The door slammed.

At the next hut, Slone tried a new tactic, "Goodhew, tea and prancing? We still have some crumpets stolen from Crouse of food services." Goodhew came to the door, his glasses askew, a purple bra on his head, "No way, this wild wench named Kravig really likes the accent" His door slammed.

Growing annoyed he continued on, "I can always count on Cohoon…what, two of them?" This time he had opened the door, walking in on Cohoon and two wenches he recognized from the Tavern – Ms. Wood and Ms. Johnson.

Finally he came to Little Rivner’s place, thinking that if everyone else was getting some, he might take a shot. Instead there was a note nailed to the door, "No prancing. Many wenches. More ale. You’re on your own buddy."

Sulking and alone, Mr. Slone yelled out loud from frustration, "Come on, honestly, who looks better in a bra and panties? I do, I do!"

Respectfully submitted,

Kelly Frawley