Minutes of the DLS: February 24, 2005

Mr. Duffy began the meeting with
Be it resolved: Every person must realize that by accepting and subscribing to the body image promoted by the media, they are in part responsible for causing body image issues for the people that surround them, and therefore must take action as individuals to create a healthier body image in society.

Miss Brown rose to speak of the backlash in society against the waifish woman and claimed that society is not so hard on overweight people as the resolution claimed.

Mr. Addison agreed with the resolution because his mole causes people to single him out.

Mr. Weiss argued that the obese population causes enormous healthcare costs-- just like the babies in Jonathan Swift’s England. He then suggested we kill our fattest members and feed them to the poor.

Miss Keyes-Blumer said that children are very impressionable to advertisements on television. She didn’t mention that adults also are often affected, but don’t worry Sam, I won’t tell about the revolving tie rack you bought after watching a late night infomercial.

I then spoke of the subculture of overweight women who are ok with being unhealthy.

A guest, from FLY spoke of the pressures from friends and school to try to lose weight, even among healthy girls.

Miss Koval rose to claim that she reads Cosmo for the positions. The acting secretary wrote that she was sure these are political positions on various foreign policy issues.

Another guest said that the problem is not the media, but how you internalize your own body image.

Mr. William shared about a friend whose eating disorder stemmed from abuse. He claimed that the media can only encourage pre-exiting disorders.

Another guest rose to claim that the individual can change situations but believed in drawing strength in one another.

Mr. Theiss said that the concept of beauty changed over time. He then claimed that he couldn’t get any action because tall, blonde, blue eyed, fit guys were out of fashion.

Another guest claimed that overweight people are slaves to their desires, but healthier people have control.

Mr. Fleischman claimed that because people are built to procreate, everyone is after that “fertile” look. You know, I picked up a Glamour the other day and all the new fashions were like, “New skirts and tops to make you look more prolific than ever! He’ll be dying to make a baby with you when you try these new hairstyles for spring.”

Mr. Ballard stressed the need for balance and suggested making health the goal.

Miss Prabakar said that the root of obesity is depression and said that just telling people that they are overweight is not enough. I don’t know why. Every time someone says, “Hey, you’re fat,” it always motivates me. To shoot myself.

Mr. Earle decried the downfall of the “luscious woman” to invariably then women, he blamed Twiggy.

Miss D’Andrea said that allergic reactions to food could cause eating disorders and urged us to study the sources more closely. Maybe I am a simple woman, but I don’t see the link between breaking out in hives if you eat peanuts and starving yourself to the point of death because you think you are so fat.

Mr. Burkhart then rose to give a cryptic call to violence: “Kill your TV!”

Miss Renert observed that America must be hungry, because all the ads on TV
seemed to be for comestibles.

Mr. Duffy concluded the debate by warning that history will prove him right,
and our children and grandchildren will be ashamed of the way we treated the
overweight people of our time.

The resolution passed 9/6 among members and 18/4 among guests.

Mr. Duffy then rose again to encourage all the guests to stay and come to
Little Italy with us for fatty pizza and beer.

Mr. Addison then presented
BIR: Society has become too permissive of certain speech in the name of tolerance.

Miss Brown asserted that a allowing legal free speech without societal free
speech is a logical contradiction, and said that competing ideas let us
know what is right.

A guest (Sadie) said that she personally did not put up with stupid
comments, but that it is everyone’s right to make them.

Mr. Burkhart lamented the fact we can (and do) tell him not to wear a kilt or buy a fried Mars bar around here, but reminded us that we cannot stifle the Tate preacher. I wonder which is more alarming, Mr. Burkhart in a kilt, or the Tate preacher’s vitriolic tripe.

Mr. Hansen raised the question, “Does speech have consequences?” and then “Does Demosthenian have consequences?” I think I know what Robert Toombs or MLK would say.

Mr. Weiss claimed that speech has some control on it because advertisers will pull out of speech they don’t support.

Miss Bloomquist, an alum, said that the resolution underestimates people and society, because not everyone will follow a dumb idea.

Mr. Misztal, spouting communist rhetoric, said that “Cubans and Chinese are happy,” because they have fewer choices in their countries. Right…which is why they come by the boatload, and graduate study fellowship load, to our country. I wonder if they are happy about having few choices when they’re having their fingernails ripped out because of trying to start a free press or being forced to have an abortion after only one child.

Mr. Theiss brought up the negative reaction to the Dixie Chicks and bemoaned the unpopularity of boycotts today.

I said that laws and societal constraints against speech are so easily corruptible we should have as few as possible.

Mr. Ballard then rose, and according to the acting secretary, said “Resolution: bad,” “Me and free speech: good.”

After a non binding vote, the resolution tied 6/6, which the president broke by voting for the resolution, but it failed among guests, 1/5.

Mr. Williamson then presented:
BIR: The pope should die.

Mr. Dowell rose to say that the resolution was absurd, because no one can control their time on earth.

John Henry then incurred a $5 fine for endangering the safety of the hall and people in it.

Mr. Sparks brought up the popemobile, which met with riotous applause. He suggested cutting the brakes in it and framing someone else.

Mr. Fleischman said that “Gentlemen, we can rebuild him.” He would call the new pope the Popeappotamus.

A guest rose to express surprise that Christians are plotting the demise of the pope, while she is a Muslim and she likes the pope, because she once thought he had superpowers.

Mr. J.P.Weiss (the greater) sounding a bit like a used car salesman said that in Judaism, we cut out the middleman, because they don’t need a guy on earth to talk to God for them.

Mr. J.D.Weiss the lesser began his speech with, “I saw this episode of South Park,” and then shared the religious insight he gained from it.

Mr. Addison tried to salvage some of the pontiff’s dignity by calling him one of the greatest human beings to walk the face of the earth.

Mr. Misztal descended from the bench to a great moan from the floor. He claimed that the Pope’s anti communist agenda went too far when it destroyed communism in South America, “where it was actually doing good!”

Mr. Theiss suggested mechanizing the pope and giving him a metallic hat to shoot missiles out of.

Miss Brown rose to give a scathing condemnation of the resolution, saying that people in DLS pride themselves on being intellectual, but actually look like idiots when they mock religion.

Mr. Hansen said that it is appropriate to mock important things, and then suggested that the pontiff is Darth Vader.

Mr. Ballard used his time on the floor to announce a candidacy for pope.

I rose to support the pope but called for wittier third resolutions.

Miss Keyes-Blumer rose to say that our funny resolutions have been hurting our efforts to recruit guests.

Mr. Burkhart claimed that humor could be used to honor people.

Mr. Weiss the greater put things in perspective by saying that the resolution was all in good fun, and that even John Paul himself would appreciate our humor.

The resolution failed 2/5 among members and 2/2 among guests, with Miss Keyes Blumer and Mr. Duffy and Mr. Burkhart abstaining.

Mr. Earle then rose with another resolution, and was ejected out of the upper chamber. Mr. Hansen then rose and was ejected out of the upper chamber.

The meeting was then adjourned, and after Mr. Theiss’s critic’s report, we went out to Little Italy to prove our lack of eating disorders to Mr. Duffy.

Miss Brown is the last person to talk about mocking religion.

None of the Catholics in the room were offended.